Maybe I am just getting old. Maybe I can't hack it anymore. Maybe I need a little motivation. Yeah...that's it. I need motivation. So I tell the powers that Be that I need motivation. I speak it out into the vastness of space with no intention behind it, as if simply speaking something makes it so. As days go on and these words I speak under my breath or in conversation begin to become more and frequent, I take notice. How many times must I ask for something before I get it? When will someone...God...the universe...cut me some slack? It's not like I'm asking for a handout here. I WANT to do my part. I just need some motivation.
God, give me some motivation. That's all I need.
And tonight it hits me. I understand. I understand that if it were patience I was asking for, I would not receive a big ol' bucket of patience at my doorstep. Rather, I would be given opportunities to practice my patience...to develop patience. So by the same token, in the case of this motivation I seek, I suppose that each time I asked for motivation, half-heartedly or otherwise, I was not handed a pre-paid gift card in the amount of "unlimited motivation" to use at my disposal. So how was I being answered? How had my request been met? I think it may have looked something like this:
Me: "Man, I am so unmotivated. I could use something to get me goin."
God: Despite my lack of actual, intentional asking, adds another responsibility to my schedule.
Me: "Gee I seem to have a lot to do. I need to get motivated...."
God: Again, I never really asked, but he hears my unspoken prayers and provides me with another task.
Me: "Wow, I am getting so busy! How am I ever going to get everything done?! If only I had a little motivation..."
God: Hands me another challenge.
Me: "My life is completely out of control! God! grant me the desire to do something about it! Motivate me! I am waiting!"
God: "I have heard your need for motivation and so I have provided opportunity after opportunity for you to get started. You ask for motivation...I give you an opportunity."
So here I stand...spinning a thousand plates...juggling a thousand balls. I have been given every opportunity to get going. And I will. Because I believe that God has prompted me and once prompted, It is my job to do all that is in my power to meet my responsibilities. When I fall short...and I WILL fall short...God will pick up where I left off. He always does. But he expects me to give it my best effort first. When I have exhausted myself, my resources, and my abilities, then He takes over. And for that I am grateful...because with all this asking for motivation that I have been doing, I have ended up with a very full plate!